It was recently pointed out to me that given a choice between buying something and getting it for free, people frequently go with free. Go figure. When I finished the book, I thought exposure would be more valuable than money. It turns out I was wrong about that. About the only thing I was able to buy with exposure, was a little jail time, a court date and an invitation to register as a sex offender. Exposure don’t buy beer.
I had most of the book up here on the site for free. The actual book has about 20% more awesome, but they haven’t sold by the millions with just the promise of “a little bit more.” The purchasing public seems perfectly happy with a solid B. 80% for free versus 100% for money. Can’t blame you really.
Well I’m going to try a different tack. Half. You get half for free. The massage is free, but the happy ending is gonna cost you. If you enjoy the giggles, then make with the ka-ching. The digital version is available for a song from Banes and Nobel, iTunes, Amazon and as a PDF directly from Lulu.com. The print version is more, but comes with all that physically occupied space. You know you want it. Don’t feel bad. Me write funny long time.
Ain’t I a stinker?
Now, to the future. All y’all have been asking for more. The next book. The Plan was to have book 2 out by Christmas 2011, but 2011 decided instead to suck complete and utter ass. Working from my cave of anonymity, I’m in the awkward position of not being able to reveal much about my personal life. But trust me. It SUCKED. It was without question, the most un-funny year of my life.
But it’s all over now. 2011 is in the sewer where it belongs, and now it’s on with the show. I’ll do my best to post some new stuff as it happens, but people forgetting all about me is really the only defense I have against discovery of my true identity and getting fired or sued. Or both.
In the mean time, enjoy the massage. Don’t cost nothin.
<<Pilot X>>
…. I know you….
Not as well as your wife does.
Very, very funny! A great insight into the comical world of airline flying.
Sometimes, all you can do is laugh. Or punch somebody. Laughing doesn’t go on your permanent record.
I laughed out loud! Thank you.
Hi, my name is , and I’m an addict…
I’ve been jonesin’ for more – can’t wait ’til my actual, physical, bathroom reading copy arrives!
Another outstanding release from the author who brought you “What I read on the Crapper this Morning”, “I Like Shiny Things”, and his most recent best seller, “So I Married a Mechanic”
Uproariously funny, because it’s true! Even if you don’t want it to be, it is, so just learn to accept it!
A great read, on or off the crapper!
Hilarious! A must read for every airline pilot! Well, except for the usual 10%.
Bummer – had to buy the Kindle version ‘cuz I couldn’t find a copy in the crew room, crash pad, or seat back pocket…
Great read. Bought kindle version. it was best use of my per diem money all year except perhaps for hookers and beer.
I am the controller that carries you over the midwest, and into/out of ORD/MDW/MKE/MSN/DBQ etc….. All I can say is this was a great read!
The voice that comes through the radio box, you mean? That’s impossible! If you were small enough to fit inside the radio, there’d be no way you could type on a computer keyboard!
Fantastic reading!
Kudos, sir. I have been told I’m no longer allowed to read this site at work because my crying and snorting with laughter is “causing a disruption.” Off to order the ebook so I can cause concern to fellow subway riders instead. Thank you for sharing.
Absolutely amazing! I am not a pilot, honestly I don’t even like to fly very much…But a pilot buddy of mine said I should check this out and promised I would think it was hilarious! For a book that I initially thought I would have absolutely NO interest in, I could not put it down. Very enjoyable and stupidly funny!
I got say as a FLAP as you have so well dubbed, the way you tell your stories is just amazing. Could not put down the follies until I got through it all and then in the end you’re left with “Damn that’s it? need some more!” As an airline employee in BHM I remember your airplane breaking down during the Alabama football games and you guys looking for a ride home and we had cancelled all our flights that day. ironically enough I can relate to your theory of “the pachyderm menstruation theory” you mentioned from these Alabama fans, I’m not from here and believe me I don’t understand these people myself.
I can’t wait for the new follies if you continue the saga, “Return of the follies” or “The follies strike back”. They day you upgrade back to the right seat I wonder how the follies will take a turn!
In the immortal words of Bartles and James, thank you for your support. The Follies volume II is underway. Rise of the Ass should be out by Christmas. Trying to find a way to post new Follies without jeopardizing my anonymity. Observant folks like yourself are hell on a secret identity.
Too funny and all very familiar.
I bought a copy for my wife to read just so she knows the misery i go through at work, 😉
Looking forward to part two.
Loved every second! Saddest part was finishing it. Read most of it on my iPhone (seemed fitting) and had to explain several times to my wife why tears were streaming down my face.
More please…
Such creative genius deserves reward but since you have posted it here for all to read for the price of an internet connection (which I’m pirating from my neighbors WIFI) why should I buy it? WTF, maybe I’ll buy it and call it a donation? There must be a tax deduction in there somewhere.
After stumbling upon this while surfing the same internet to which you posted it (imagine the odds of that) I couldn’t stop reading until finished. Your discription of MEDLINK, for example is something that should published in the Airline Pilots for Dummies manual. Oh…wait. That’s exactly what you have written.
In fact, I stongly suspect that you are my long lost brother and, if it’s not too much trouble and you have my e-mail, I’m requesting that you send me a DNA sample as an attached file. (pdf. format preeferred) This would go a long way toward proving that I was adopted.
Any “Latest and Greatest” on Follies Part Deaux?